[1] sometimes sunny days are hidden behind clouds

[inked on january 05, 2023 in front of my bedroom window]

Today, I woke up with the mirror facing me, the birds chirping, and metal racking. Yep, wonderful, isn’t it? Living in the metro has not always amused me. I used to be woken up by the soft caress of waves in beach pebbles, the whip of zephyr on our nipa roof, and most often the rooster’s crow. Here, it is different. Creatures in nature were replaced by 300-pound metals dragging on the asphalt road—a noise racking my brain as I woke up. Yet today is different. Today, the artificial noises subsided and for the first time in a while, I muttered, today is a good day.

Recently, I hit a wall. It has been the third day of January yet the days felt like I got blackout after the New Year and woke up clamped on a seatbelt at a cyclone roller coaster (and I am afraid of heights). It was a rush, a whiplash, and a splash of emotions I never thought I could spiral into within a span of 24 hours.

On the 5th of January, I woke up at 4 am to rush to the airport. God, the holidays are not always merry to all. The crowd was skin-to-skin, I had a setback with my luggage, I could not find a seat anywhere. So I roamed at the terminal for 30 minutes until it was time for boarding. At last, a rest. I got the window view after my seatmate, trembling his legs and shaking his head, asked me to switch seats. The plane departed, and the rush in the airport subsided in my thoughts. I am exhausted, yet for some reason, I felt happy. A euphoria, I say. I smiled. I wonder what the man beside me is thinking—he kept looking over the window when earlier he was jittering.

I want to write, perhaps this is the gift of euphoria. I have words I want to breathe life into. As if in perfect synchronicity, the sky glistened in warm hues. Sunrise. I am witnessing the sunrise above the clouds for the first time. A new perspective! I was struck by its beauty. Before this, the sky was blanketed with clouds. The sun rose in glimmer, as if wanting to say, there is light after darkness. When the plane landed, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow” played. A fine buzzing kind of day. Life is laughable, planting you in juxtaposed seats just to remind you why you are alive. What a time, indeed.

So, today is the product of that. Of the rummaging thoughts, undrying tears, happy accidents, and lonely joy. The first entry. My heart is racing. I am happy.